We grow up waiting to be picked. Think about it for a minute. As children we wait in the school yard to be chosen for games, to be invited to sit at the lunch table, to get chosen for the party invite list or to be picked for the sports team. We desperately hope we aren’t that kid who gets picked last, for what that would mean for our perceived popularity. As we get older, it’s about getting picked for jobs, and projects, and for those college places we were always told were crucial to our future. When you really think about it, we spend our whole lives waiting to get picked.
When do we choose ourselves?
I first considered this concept from reading Seth Godin. He’s one of those authors that makes me actually stop reading to think. To consider what he has just said. To let it sink in. To let it settle and marinate.
The first time I recall him writing of this seemingly bold concept was one of those moments. What do you mean you can choose yourself, I thought to myself. I had spent my entire life waiting to be picked.
As a performer growing up I was always waiting to get picked for the role: for the dance concert, as the singer in the band, the actress in the play, the model for the photo shoot. I was groomed and molded to be as pretty, likeable and flexible as possible to ensure that I would be the chosen one. And on it went as I started dating in high school, and then as I entered the workforce. It was everywhere, seemingly in every situation. Waiting to be chosen.
So what on earth was he talking about? As if it could be that simple. We have bosses, and clients, and things to comply with and conform to. We have prospective partners we want to be picked by. Millions of authors or entrepreneurs waited decades to be picked by Oprah, as getting on her book club list or in her annual favorite things collection guaranteed massive success. As writers, we wait for the publisher to say yes, your work is worthy of being a book. Musicians have always waited for the allusive record company to say yes, we will make you a star. The list goes on and on.
Our whole lives depend on it, always waiting for the next authority to say yes, you are the chosen one. Or do they? Godin tells us:
“ You want the authority to create, to be noticed and to make a difference? Sorry. There’s no authority left. Oprah has left the building. Once you understand that there are problems just waiting to be solved, once you realize that you have all the tools and all the permission you need, then opportunities to contribute abound. Not the opportunity to have your resume picked from the pile, but the opportunity to lead.”
Being a sovereign woman means taking charge of your life. No longer waiting for another to recognize you, validate you or choose you. As women, we have important work to do in the world. We are here to make a contribution, to teach, lead, serve, nurture and create.
The time to be chosen is over. Take your power by the reins. Choose yourself